14/09/2018

💃 Retro Review: The Guy Game - "So this is how you spruce up a trivia game…" 💃 #RetroGaming

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I didn’t learn about The Guy Game until it was no longer sold in stores, and then it became less of a goal to play it and more of a funny story or joke. Something told me though I’d eventually get around to reviewing it—for science! 

I do enjoy trivia games, and this is a low budget title with the winning concept of: what if that thing you do on Wednesday nights at the bar, but with boobs? 

Just imagine if a lesser version of You Don’t Know Jack had a baby with Girls Gone Wild and then everyone abandoned that child at the first sign of trouble. 

Topheavy Studios Inc. released their first and only game in August of 2004, published by Gathering of Developers (GOD), whom I mostly know from Heavy Metal: F.A.A.k. 2, and it was originally released on PS2 and XBOX, with a PC port coming in December, right as the shit hit the fan.

The main reason that The Guy Game is notable is because of the court case and lawsuit that came about from a seventeen year old girl appearing topless in the game’s footage. The individual, referred to as Mrs. Jane Doe because of her age, waited four months after the game had come out to take action, but a judge agreed with her, having the game removed from store shelves, making it a bit rarer. This was supposedly meant to be a temporary thing and the case was eventually settled, but the game never went back up for sale and whether Topheavy Studios Inc. would have succeeded or not—very possible they wouldn’t have—this certainly hurt their future. There is some speculation on Mrs. Jane Doe’s motivation, but there just isn’t enough information readily available to dive into that. Even though it looked like all participants knew what they had signed up for and the standard protocols had been taken to prevent against something like this, it happened and will be the game’s legacy.
The title is still out there though, just a little bit harder to find, and I paid less than thirty dollars for my copy, so we might as well see how it plays. After creating a profile, the player selects a few extra options on how to proceed (depending on the number of players) and one of several female models as icons that will also lose their clothing if the player does well overall. There are twenty episodes to play through; each featuring different, ‘hotties,’ as the game calls them, with over a thousand various questions from a slew of categories. Getting the questions right feels good, but it is the least important thing, as the Flash-O-Meter is filled up by the points that come from guessing whether the girls get the answers wrong or which wrong answer they will choose, depending on what round it is. There are even physical challenges where the player can bet on which girl will win things like a potato sack race or jump rope competition, where having enough points at the end of all of this unlocks special little videos. Round two is also a ball mini-game, and I’m not ashamed to say that this was actually my favorite part of playing at times.
“What’s wrong with you? Don’t you want to see titties!?”
The real goal for most though will be to get the points that get the Flash-O-Meter up, as it determines how visible the breasts are. They start off with obstructive The Guy Game logos, then become just blurred, and finally are set free for the player to enjoy. Once an episode is beaten correctly though, there is no need to worry about the meter anymore there, as the boobs are completely unhidden from then on. Careful though, a poor performance has the game question your desire to truly see these ‘titties’ or just straight up calls you a loser, egging you on. So for anyone who really is just playing this to see what the girls look like without their clothing and not the challenge, I recommend a guide. Even if someone doesn’t use a method of cheating, many of the questions are easy to memorize.

In an attempt to keep things from getting too stale, the game provides a narrator and two commentators, who all end up repeating themselves often, but some of their comments are so incredibly cringe for various reasons. Stand-up comedian Matt Sadler takes on the role of host, and though some of his parts had me shaking my head as well, there were genuinely funny moments for sure. The footage for the game was shot on South Padre Island, Texas during spring break, and the videos are well done and crisp. The game also has a simple and responsive interface to work with, making it easy to dive into.
“Who has the topless tenacity?”
I have to recommend the XBOX version of the game, if for nothing else than the ease of having four players. The Guy Game encourages drinking, bad behavior, and to play with others—honestly, making the game even more fun—and having friends means that a mode called President and Assholes is implemented, something that is apparently popular in Fraternity life. It feels a bit weird that I’m looking forward to playing more of the game, especially when I can get a few friends over again. It’s a very dumb fun and there are unlockables as well as some pretty poor extras that will keep me coming back for a bit at least. I love truly bad things. The game didn’t get great review scores, but some of them weren’t too bad, and I certainly wouldn’t call this a complete failure.
There is a certain comedy to this game, past the obvious jokes, for anyone who likes their softcore pornography or wacky trivia titles. It’s something for collectors, trivia fans, and lovers of breasts to unite over I suppose, or just to laugh at. After the suit, most likely in an attempt to recoup lost revenue, there was a DVD released called The Guy Game: Game Over, which had the footage and a few bonuses, minus one Mrs. Jane Doe. Apparently, it is pretty hard to find though. There were rumors of a sequel, a conversation that apparently happened at some point but was quickly shut down, which makes me wonder if anyone else has thought about trying to tame a concept similar to this on newer consoles. They probably know we get our fill of boobs on the internet though and just leave the nudity to other M rated games. 

Retro Review By Wilds