12/08/2015

🧔 My Video Gaming Facial Haired Heroes 🧔 #Retrogaming #GamersUnite

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Facial Hair seems to be everywhere right now. A clean-shaven bloke is now a rarity and it would seem that beards and moustaches are here to stay in the world of mandom.

So in honour of the hirsute man I have compiled a nice list of mainly retrogaming bearded fellows who rock the best beards.

Let's take a walk down Beard Road and stick a left down Moustache alley into the world of fuzzy pixel faces.........

1. Zangief (Street Fighter II)

Let's start with a Russian who's a man's man. This guy hangs out with Gorbachev and wrestles bears whilst sporting a beard made of iron wool. What a guy. 

2. Geoff Capes (Strong Man)
The ultimate 80's strong man icon was often seen on TV taking on the worlds strongest and don't forget that he starred in his very own computer game on the Speccy where mashing buttons was the order of the day. This man's strength was in his beard and what a beard it is.

3. Mario & Luigi (Super Mario Bros)

Let's call it out early. Mario & Luigi are the ambassadors for moustaches. They have rocked moustaches flawlessly for 30 years and their facial hair still looks timeless, whether it's an 8 Bit moustache or a current-gen facial furniture masterpiece these two are flawless in displaying their well-groomed taches. Legends of The Moustache.

4. Gordon Freeman (Half-Life)




Gordon is an understated hero of mine. The guy goes into work one day and then gets caught up in this kind alien invasion plot that sees him go into other worlds and battle devious creatures and yet his beard is always immaculate. ALWAYS! Is the beard a lie? 

5. Cranky Kong (Donkey Kong Country)




Cranky Kong is the old man of DK Country and I love his style. If you haven't seen the intro to DK Country on the SNES then I suggest you take a look as this will forever endure Cranky to your heart.

6. Le Chuck (Monkey Island)




Guybrush Threepwood's arch-nemesis rocks the series with a brilliant beard. One that will go down in video games history as the evilest beard there ever was. Long live Le Chuck, hurrah!!

7. Arthur (Super Ghouls N Ghosts)




Every heroic knight should sport a manly beard, especially when he's taking on the undead in nothing but his pants and vest! Arthur gets his facial hair just right and when he picks up a suit of armour you can see why Arthur is considered to be the right hero to take on this impossible quest (twice!)

8. Bear Hugger (Super Punch-Out)




For me, Bear Hugger is the face of Super Punch-Out. What a fighter. An over-exaggerated character who you gotta just love to fight and with a beard you wanna pummel. A perfect piece of pugilist facial hair. 

9. Dr Light (MegaMan)
A beard that looks like meringue is a good thing in my book. This white mass of fluffy beardedness is almost comforting. Dr Light is like God mixed with Father Christmas. A true beardy hero for the video game generation.

10. Gilius Thunderhead (Golden Axe)




A bearded badass from the glory days of Golden Axe whose beard was as tall as this heroic Dwarf. The guy wielded a double-bladed axe like a trained killer and no one would mess with this beardy bastard. What a guy. One of the characters that made the original Golden Axe so much fun to play.

11. Erik, Baleog & Olaf (Lost Vikings)
Three full-on Nordic beards for the price of one. Yes, this game has it all, it's a beard a Rama with the 3 lead characters all having healthy Viking beards. A beard lovers delight especially with a ginger beard thrown in there for good measure!

12. Wario (Wario Land)




Wow, that moustache is a corker. An evil zig-zag twirly affair which only our main man Wario could pull off. Mario & Luigi won't let on but they are properly jealous of this manicured delight. Rock on Wario! 

13. Merlin The Wizard (Gauntlet)




The multiplayer mayhem of Gauntlet was first experienced by me when I visited Southsea (Portsmouth) seafront arcade. Back then I was always Thor (the Warrior). but then as I got more and more into the world of D&D I made Merlin my go-to character. Surely Merlin's beard is the most famous beard of all time maybe only rivalled by Gandolf?


So this is my bearded (& moustachioed) baker's dozen. 

13 real men who sport beards & moustaches to be proud of.

Can YOU Think Of Any Others You Would Add To This Squad Of Hairies?

Let Me Know In The Comments Below...


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