07/12/2018

๐Ÿ‘ด☢ Arthur Parallax Reviews…..Fallout 76 ๐Ÿ‘ด☢ #Fallout76

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When I was spending hundreds of hours combined making my way through the irradiated wastes offered to me in the previous Fallout games (the first two games, or if you like, ‘the best ones’, included) you know what I wished for, each step of the way?


For there to be loads of other players to be jumping around me, getting on my nerves constantly and interrupting my experience, I yearned for it! Realism is KEY, regardless of genre or title. If (god willing) a series of nuclear bombs devastated the world as we know it and razed mankind to the ground. 

Guaranteed, GUARANTEED I would pop out of my bunker, nip around the corner to pick up some bonky, glowing  fruit from a scorched tree or the like…and someone would get on my bloody nerves. I’d be back in that bunker with the door locked faster than you could say, ‘Gunfighter is the best game released on Commodore 64’. It’s good to see games finally learning from my legacy and making games finally worthy of my name. We need more games that more fully embrace the harshness of reality, turn left? Dead. Walk across a field? Dead, glance up at the beautiful night sky? Dead. That’s what us REAL gamers crave.  

I remember when I visited the FromSoftware headquarters in Tokyo and they showed me their (at the time) up and coming game, Demon Souls.
“ooooo it’s hard” they said,
“ooooo it’s for PROPER gamers” they whinged.
“oooooo what a load of SHASH! I said, ney, screamed! SHASH! SHASH! SHAAAASH!”
If they were really wanting to challenge their audience they’d have implemented the control scheme that I suggested whereby the gamepad would turn itself off and on with completely re-mapped controls every thirty seconds and the screen would go black during boss-fights. 

Permadeath? Pfffff, none of this going back a few hours and working your way back through the levels, I suggested that the game uninstalled itself permanently! THAT is a challenge, THAT is tension! THAT is gaming!
As they escorted me from the building, I was so enraged with their half-measures that I vowed never to offer them my advice ever again* and, as they cast me onto the hot, Tokyo streets I looked up at the sky to an unrelenting God that once again deemed it valid to have another tawdry, sissy game foisted upon a drooling public. Let the bombs drop, I say. At least THEN these Souls fans would see what a real challenge was.
Arthur Parallax, 04/12/2018, Shrewsbury.
*for free

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